running a bath. so that i can hold my head beneath it.

my. goodness.

tomorrow, i start my second year (out of three in which i am trying to complete a four-year degree) at a small state-school in Pennsylvania. i have been working in the textbook store on-campus.
and i am exhausted.
sure i may be less broke than i was in the past few weeks, but, if i have any time or energy, i doubt i'll be using it for anything besides sleeping (however much sense THAT makes.)

anyway, my apartment is also more or less in the immigrant-ridden part of town, which is amazing. it's really like one of the biggest exercises in out-of-comfort-zone i've ever had in my entire life. i'm going to need to be learning a bit of spanish, though, regardless.

and i'm generally just learning about sacrifices as i go. because if i'm worth the sacrifice of a life of a perfect man, why should i not be able to sacrifice my imperfect self for others?

claim

i've been sleeping at nights on top of my comforter, beneath only an afghan or two. couldn't tell you why, but it's true.

i've been leaving every morning by quarter after seven to be at work by eight. so evidently, i'll have to leave soon.

i feel like the rest of my summer should've been like this. but maybe it shouldn't've.

yawn yawn

i actually like my 8am to 2pm shift, despite how my lack of car complicates my family's life.
although, i guess the fact that i'm making money is a justifaction for all of that.
actually, that's just about the only justifaction they would accept, i'm sure.

and i think that i want less of my life to be centered on money.
or maybe not so much "centered on" as "concerned with" or "worried about"
because, you know, there's college, and given the way things are, that's not free (which i guess is partially my own fault, too) and then rent, food, and then pretty much just luxuries. or, that's my current personal budget. i'm sure that once i get my next car, i'll cut back significantly on the rest of my luxuries.

then again, i may not have a clue as to what my money does for me. i clearly have no control over much of it.

grog

i'm thinking i would've liked to go to church this morning. i didn't, though, because i overslept a bit too far.
and aside from that, i have conflicting feelings about being absent from church on sundays. but then again, huge amounts of space can take up (and surely have taken up) discussion about such things, and i'm really not in any sort of position of authority on scripture, so i tend to speak/write sparingly, in that vein.

i'm still tired, too. or, tired again? i can't tell.

Psalm 144 is excellent.